Hey, stranger.

How do you strike up a conversation with your fellow human?

It’s not as easy as it seems. You’ve got to balance being welcoming but not too forward, personal but not too negative and boring—and so on. What if someone is angry? Or creepy? What if you’re meeting a stranger for the first time and they’re drunk? Should you tip your hand about how much money is in your wallet or purse?

Here are some tips for having more successful conversations:

Introduce yourself

The first thing to do when talking to someone is introduce yourself. Give your name and ask for theirs. If you’re feeling bold, give them a compliment on something you notice about their appearance. Ask them how their day is going, or if they have any plans for the evening. Don’t be afraid to ask them a question about themselves!

Be friendly

Oops! Click Regenerate Content below to try generating this section again.

Do you mind if I join you?

When you’re at a place where people are sitting together, it’s not a bad idea to introduce yourself. You can say something like: “Hey! I’m [your name]. It looks like we’re both waiting for our order, so I thought I would introduce myself.” Wait for their response before continuing. If they seem interested in talking to you, ask if it is okay if you join them. If not, don’t take it personally and head over to another group of hungry patrons where the answer might be more positive.

When asking someone out on a date or just getting acquainted with someone new, remember that the first impression matters! When starting a conversation with someone new (or even an old friend), try using open-ended questions that allow them time to think about their answers rather than yes or no questions that have one right answer (e.g., “Are you here alone?” vs., “Why aren’t your friends here with us today?”). This will help keep things flowing smoothly as well as give the other person confidence in what they’re saying without feeling pressured by having too many people listening in on every word they say – which can make some folks uncomfortable!

Are you a local?

If you’re like me and don’t know much about the area, ask a few questions. I often use this as an opener: “Excuse me, but are you a local? I’m new here and could use some help finding my way around. What’s the best place to eat around here? And can you recommend a bar? What are the best things to do in this neighborhood?”

If they say no or don’t have any suggestions, it’s okay! You can still keep talking to them and find out what brought them there in the first place (if they’re not from there).

What are some good places to eat around here?

This can be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll have all day. But it’s also a great place to start! You may think that if someone loves food, they’ll love any food, but this isn’t always true. For example, I love steak and potatoes but I’m not as big on pork chops or fried chicken. If my friend told me she liked both those things (and I knew this because we had already discussed our favorite foods), then I would suggest some other restaurants for us to try together.

If your conversation partner has never been out for dinner with people who care about what they eat before, then it might be helpful for you to explain how restaurant menus work and why certain types of restaurants are better than others when choosing where to go eat. For example: “At fancy places like [fancy French restaurant], there will probably only be one vegetable option on the menu.” Or: “If there’s no vegetarian option at a restaurant like [Mexican taco joint], then order something else.”

These fries suck. Wanna switch tables?

If you’re looking for a way to strike up a conversation with someone, why not use food?

When I was in college, I went to an event where free food was served. While waiting in line for my own plate of fries and dip, I noticed that the guy behind me had gotten some too. When he picked up his tray and turned around so we were standing side by side (briefly), I saw that he had already eaten all of his fries—and mine looked pretty good! So I asked if he wanted to switch tables so we could eat at the same place. He said yes and we started talking while eating together.

It worked because it was genuine: you really want those fries! And it shows that you care about something besides yourself (the fact that your friend left without eating any of her food). It’s also playful because it sounds like a joke but isn’t meant as one—it’s true!

Engaging with someone that seems lonely can uplift both of you

You’ve just noticed someone sitting alone. They’re looking around, but their eyes appear to be scanning the room rather than engaging with others. You might think that they don’t want to talk, but you never know until you try!

If you go over there and say something like “Hey, how’s it going?” or “What are you doing?”, they may seem startled or even annoyed by your interruption. But this is not always the case! People often feel uncomfortable approaching a stranger who seems lonely because of things they’ve heard other people say about them in passing conversations: “She’s always so quiet,” or “I can’t tell if he likes me.” These assumptions are often based on stereotypes about introverts, who are thought of as unapproachable because they don’t speak up much at parties or gatherings—but this isn’t necessarily true! So don’t assume that a person with whom you’re engaging wants nothing more than to sit alone all day; just try talking first before assuming anything about him/her based on past experiences with similar situations (or even movies).